Think of the gifts you’ve received over the years. Did some of them seem random, like you were just given them ‘cos the giver felt they had to come up with something? Those are the one’s now stuffed at the back of the cupboard that you feel guilty about moving on, but also agitated that they’re taking up valuable space.
Spoiler alert: nobody HAS to give you anything. If you received a gift it was a token to show that the person cares. The gift has done its job and shown care. Also, the gift giver never wants the gift to be a burden to you. Be as kind to yourself as they would be to you and let the gift move on to someone new.
The art of knowing what someone might like without directly asking them is rare. Some lucky types can get gifts that are spot on. Then at the other end of the stick lie the rest of us. We need a way to see into our loved-ones heads. And here it is.
Let’s bring Gary Chapman’s 5 love languages into play. You know: Words of affirmation, Physical touch, Quality time, Acts of service, Receiving gifts.
Look for clues in how they spend their time when they’re most content. If they love sitting beside you watching a movie, then they might be a ‘Quality time’ kinda person. Get them a voucher to go out to dinner with you, or a jigsaw to do with family in the weekends.
If they’re always doing things for you then maybe they see value in ‘Acts of service’. Get them a house cleaner, help them fix something, buy them a flat-pack you can put together for them.
Are they always close and ‘touchy’? Kids love having temporary tattoos put on them, or home made vouchers for ‘imaginary pizzas’ (back massages where you pretend to make a pizza on their back)
Do they give you trinkets all the time? Then give them some! It honestly speaks their kinda love.
Come at it from a ‘what do they do to relax’ angle and the results will be more satisfying.
Wishing you many moments of sunshine and deliciousness this Christmas season. And some rain. A bit ‘o that in summer’s good too!