So your valentine doesn’t notice the how crazy the mess they leave is making you? Try one of these:
- Ignore it. Maybe it’s the ‘small stuff’ of life. That’s the usual one we choose. But here’s the trick: if it’s not worth fixing, honestly let it go. Don’t allow your mind to replay the same thought about how it annoys you! If you hear the intro to that track starting, quickly switch the thought to something positive e.g. “I’m so glad they’ll have my back when I really need them!”
- Try keeping a few areas really organised and leave them a few ‘bombsites’ that they can maintain any way they want. Don’t touch that area. Don’t even pick up the empty lolly wrappers. Let them take full control, then responsibility for the outcome. You’ll have tidy areas you can retreat to when you need, and they’ll naturally learn habits they copied off you. People who know you love them really do want to please you. Their organising style will just be a bit more ‘relaxed’ than yours. You be you, and they’ll be them. Both perfectly imperfect.
- Say “I need your help. XYZ is always getting [lost/forgotten/ruined]” DON’T say BECAUSE OF THE MESS, that’s a catalyst for defensiveness and will start a fight. Instead then say “What can we do?” Then actually let them talk while you LISTEN, not just wait will they’ve stopped talking then railroad them with what you thought. If you’re baffled that at how they can let areas get so out of control that means there’s a part of the picture that you haven’t seen. For them it could stem from tiredness, insecurity, indecision, guilt, other interests that are more exciting than tidying, a sense of lack, or a memory they think will disappear if they let an item go. That’s the real thing that needs addressing.